Who's My Love?
by moonhaku
Summary: What will happen when Sasuke comes back to Konoha determined to make up with his village and possibly win Sakura's heart? [slight SasuSaku, NaruSaku, and lots of utter, hilarious crack ]


**Title- Who's My Love?**

**Rating- K+**

**Summary- What will happen when Sasuke comes back to Konoha; determined to make up with his village and possibly win Sakura's heart[slight SasuSaku, NaruSaku and lot of hilarious crack **

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**[WARNING: CRACK  
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Sasuke looked at the towering gates of Konoha warily. The last time he stepped through these gates was when he betrayed Konoha. He had betrayed his friends, and forsaken their trust.

And he had left Sakura unconscious right after she confessed her love for him. Double ouch.

Maybe there was a slight chance of…apologizing?

Yeah right, he thought, I'll just walk right up to the Godaime and say, " Well, I'm back now and I'm sorry for knocking your favorite pupil unconscious in the rain and betraying Konoha to get revenge on my stupid older brother."

He would lucky if he left with an inch of life left. He stared at the gates apprehensively, as if not wanting to go in anymore. Just when he turned around, he heard a shout from behind him.

"Hey! You there!"

He turned around slowly, and the sentry's eyes opened wide and he started to screech, "IT'S THE UCHIHA! GET HIM!!!!"

Shit.

Sasuke wanted to run, but sadly, it was a bit too late. By the time he regained consciousness, he was already in a dark and dingy room with rats crawling around his toenails.

Gee, the Godaime sure was nice.

He scowled as he surveyed the room, _this_ is what he gets when he hangs around Konoha for too long. He kenw that he should've never come back. A door creaked open and Sakura's face popped in. She smiled and skipped into the room with Naruto following right behind her. Sasuke glared a them, but Naruto still had that stupid smile on his face and Sakura still looked the same as ever.

Girly, pretty, lovely and Sasuke didn't want to admit this, but—

Beautiful.

Her new outfit hugged her curves tightly and her figure was drool-worthy. Of course, Sasuke didn't drool, because if he did, that would be_not_ cool.

Sasuke was always cool.

Even when he wanted to jump onto a girl.

"You're back Sasuke-kun! Isn't it great Naruto-kun?!"

"OF COURSE!! BeLiEvE It!!"

"HE'S FINALLY BACK!!"

"DaTtEbAyO!!!"

"Idiots," Sasuke glared at them again, he _really_ didn't need their distractions right now. Sakrua paused and looked at him apprehensively. It was then Sasuke saw it.

The love in her eyes were gone.

He remembered that whenever she looked at him, her eyes were always shining, bright and loving. Now they just showed happiness, joy and friendship. No love at all.

Dammit.

Naruto noticed the awkward moment between them and then decided to do something completely idiotic—but natural for an idiot like him. He put both arms behind his back and smiled brightly, "Hey Sakura-chan, let's go out for a date!"

"Nah," Sakura flushed a little and looked down to the floor.

Sasuke's lip twitched, this is the part where Sakura was supposed to punch Naruto ten feet in the air. What was going on? He gulped a little and did something natural, but completely out of his character.

"Will you be my girlfriend."

This was not a question, but a statement.

A rather demanding statement.

Sakura looked at him with a bored look that could only have been copied from Sasuke.

"Why should I?"

'Um…' Sasuke started to think, '…because you were supposed to say yes immediately?'

Of course he didn't say this out loud.

"C'mon, Sakura-chan! Let's go out on a date!!" Naruto put on a pathetic face and whined. Sasuke's lip twitched again.

"No, she's with me."

"No, ME, DATTEBAYO!"

"She's is GOING with me."

"SAKURA-CHAN is going out with ME!!!"

"ME."

"No, ME."

"Will you all just SHUT THE HELL UP?!!!" Sakura finally screamed at the two guys. She pointed a finger at Naruto and said, "First of all, you are only a friend. ONLY a friend. And second, you know who you should really ask out? HINATA!! Don't you see? She's liked you all along!"

Sasuke smirked when Naruto looked down in shame. His triumphant smile disappeared when Sakura turned around and pointed her accusing finger at him.

"And you, Sasuke! You're even WORSE! What makes you think that I'll EVER go out with you after all this time?! You're not even a FRIEND anymore, you idiot!! What makes you think that I'm still that weak and pitiful girl that you always knew?! For SHAME, Sasuke, for SHAME."

Then she crossed her arms and huffed angrily. Sasuke stared at the ground miserably, but then Naruto popped a question.

"Then who are you going to go out with, Sakura-chan?"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!!!"

"SAKURA!!!"

Suddenly Kakashi burst through the door and hugged Sakura tightly. A sunset appeard behind them and tears were streaming from their eyes. Kakashi pointed to the sunset, still crying, "Let us run into the sunset, Sakura!"

"Yes, Kakashi-sensei!"

Then they ran off into the sunset.

Meanwhile, Sasuke and Naruto were being wheeled off to the Konoha Emergency room due to severe shock and head trauma.

**The End. **

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**[THIS IS SERIOUSLY JUST CRACK  
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**Author's Notes: **There it is, folks! My [poor attempt at humor. Yes…I need to work on my humor, since I have a very subtle and rather sadistic type. Yes, all the characters are OOC. Especially Sakura, Sasuke and Kakashi. Oh god…can you imagine Kakashi and Sakura running off into the sunset like our beloved green-jumpsuited friends?

moonlight haku


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